The other night I woke up in the middle of the night. I NEVER have a problem sleeping with these 3 kids running me around all day. That night I could not fall asleep! I decided to open the window to sleep listening to the night sounds. As I layed there unable to drift off, I decided, "what better time to pray than while I'm laying here in silent meditation anyways?" So, I laid there and prayed. I mean really prayed. I prayed for my friend who had some tests come back abnormal in her pregnancy, I prayed for my family's health and I prayed that God would lead me to be who He wants me to be. The night was dead still, but as I prayed, a cool breeze blew through my room. I felt instantly relaxed and I really feel like God was letting me know He was there with me. It was the most peaceful feeling I have felt in a while, and it reminded me of Psalm 46:10..."Be still and know that I am God...."
Sometimes we get so busy with our day to day lives that we forget that we aren't in charge. I spend so much time trying to convince my kids that I am the ruler of their world, I forget who is the ruler of mine. Not too long ago I read The Shack. At first I thought it was a little weird b/c God came to this man in the form of an older black woman. It took a little explaining, but then I understood why the author did that. To understand God, you have to break every stereotype you have of Him and then maybe you can start to understand. If the book taught me anything, it made me understand more of how God loves me. With all the mistakes I've made, and make, He still loves me. It took me becoming a parent to begin to grasp it. Even when our kids make mistakes, it doesn't change our love for them. We may be disappointed in them, but our love never lessens. This is how God's love is, and that is just amazing to me.
I hope that as my journey in this world continues I can always remember that I have someone looking out for me, and I hope that I remember to take the time (even if it's in the middle of the night) to just have a talk with Him.